b l u e s t a r

er...

I kind of half want to cry sort of right now but not really. This is not going to be a good week. It starts on Tuesday evening, with my final regular chem test, of which I know very little of. I've been trying to study and do the homework that pertains to it, and it isn't working to well. Cursed stoichiometry, I can do the very basic problems, but since I'm having major issues with the homework I apparently can't do much more than that. Oh, and figuring out which element(s) are oxidized and which are reduced in a reaction. I guess I'm going to have to read up in the book for that. Then I have my mythology final Wednesday, although I'm not too worried. I probably should study a bit though, it's really an easy A to help boost by GPA (which severely needs a boost) and it would be stupid to get a B because I didn't bother to at least look over the material. Then dead day is Thursday, no classes or finals. And then, chem final Friday. From 8-10 at night. All the way on the other side of the campus. As I've mentioned before I believe. Not looking forward to that. Then what is pretty much five days rest (with the exception of studying) and my last two finals in two Thursdays. Then I'm done, at least here, for the summer.

Other than the grueling finals, I only have one more of all my classes. Tomorrow is easy, with just mythology, and then one more math, bio and chem class. The only reason I have anything Wednesday is because I want to get the mythology final out of the way quickly as possible. But yeah.

So I pretty much but not really officially have the dorm to myself for the next couple weeks. Since my roommate was staying here over the summer she got an apartment and moved pretty much all her stuff out of here on Friday, with the exception of a couple posters and some food in the fridge. Since she can't actually check out until the end of this upcoming week at the earliest she's not officially gone, but she pretty much is.

Only other thing I can think to address is anime stuff. Instead of doing mostly studying for chem yesterday I finished Darker Than BLACK, which was quite good. It starts to make more sense at the end. And if anyone wants to watch it but doesn't know where, just search for it on Youtube. The person who posted all the episodes has a playlist made for it so you can just autoplay, and the quality is amazing, especially considering it's Youtube. And...I watched a couple episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh season 0 on Youtube Friday, just because. I don't even remember how I found it. It's...I don't know if I'll finish, maybe if I just want a break anime between series or something. And I watched episode 5 of FMA: B today. It was amazing, loved the fight between Ed and Scar. Favorite part: Riza: Why is he naked? (referring to Armstrong). It was funny. Although Armstrong really is a lot more intense in this series than he was in the first one. Another thing about FMA. I was on myanimelist.net and was looking at the page for the new series and thought part of one person's review of the series was very stupid. They docked points on overall rating because of the animation, and they don't like the shape of the faces. Well, if they knew anything they'd know that the animators are sticking more to Arakawa's style of the manga. A quick Manga thought- read Chpt. 83, or 84 of NANA yesterday, since it's finally been scanlated. It feels slow, but that's probably because it takes so long to get it out. I think the plot right now in it is actually pretty good.

Well my calves aren't killing me anymore(I got bored and decided to do 50 calf raises. Not the best idea when you haven't actually worked them in nearly a year.) and I'm really craving a peanut butter & banana sammich, but only have peanut butter, and I'm pretty much broke so I can't go get food so tonight I get either soup or mac & cheese for dinner. I had some Campbell's spaghetti yesterday. My family went to Pita Jungle. Those jerks. What I would do for a pita from there. Well, soon enough I get good food. Parents are coming down next Sat/Sun to pack up and take back most of my stuff and leave me with my computer and TV and microwave and food and that's probably about it. Just what I'll need to survive a few more days before they come back to get me for good. And when they come I'm going to want some good food, either Dirtbag's or Chili's or maybe Beyond Bread. Maybe I'll just make them go to Beyond Bread or Silver Mine and get me a sammich/sub (depending on place) to eat for dinner for a couple days. And when I get home for the summer I want to go to either Nothing But Noodles or The Islands. Probably The Islands, because I was talking to my grandma today about how I haven't had a good burger, or any burger for that matter in a REALLY LONG TIME. I don't know if I've had one this entire year. But I want that one with the terriyaki sauce and pineapple, because it's good. Although they also have good tacos. Oh, then there's also Dave's BBQ, and they're absolutely delicious corn bread. I'm awaiting the 23rd, we got enough people together to make a reservation for Pizzeria Bianco. It's been talked about on national TV, I guess Martha Stewart has talked about it on her show and I think Oprah did as well. We tried to get in once (not sure if I posted anything about this, I'm sure I did) and after waiting for three and a half hours in line we would have ended up having to wait another two hours or so. But with a reservation we don't have to wait, we just have to be there when they open at five with all our group and we automatically get in before everyone else! People say this pizza is worth the several hours wait, I suppose I shall see.

Posted on May 03 2009 by Amber + 1 Comments

Heheheheh...ugh

I'm trying, so hard. Today slaughtered me. I thought the four hour chem lab final was bad yesterday, but today I had a math and bio test. I just need to get a D on this test and the final and I can get a D in the class, which isn't great but it's passing. I studied for a couple hours last night and then an hour this morning, I did my best to memorize the formulas and such. All I can say is I gave it my all, I made sure I got an answer down for everything and I should get at least partial credit for all of the problems since I know I did the first couple steps of my work correctly. Then there was biology. Since my bio lab group likes to do things last minute and instead of trying to work on the report Tuesday when we met and instead assigned me a part to email them and they'd go over it and do the rest of the report I thought I should try to get that done. So doing that and studying for math I didn't really get to studying for biology. So I studied today for like the hour I had in between classes. I didn't get much done, and I really should have studied more. All the other tests in biology this semester I kind of remembered the stuff pretty well, but this one was like what the hell? I barely remembered any of it, although I do know I got at least 5 questions right. Obviously I did better than that, but I was completely confident in 5 of my answers. I'll laugh if I get a 76. Well, not really, but I've gotten a 76 on my other two tests and it would be weird if I got it a third time.

So now I rest, for the time being. Watched Bones, now watching Hell's Kitchen. I have a wing meeting in a half hour I need to go to. My roommate isn't here, so if my RA actually takes count of who is there and who isn't she's going to be in trouble. Although to the fact that the RA put reminders on everyone's door it's her fault. Plus I'm kind of angry at her, because today when I got back from my afternoon classes and was at the sink I noticed my toothbrush was unplugged. I have a Phillips Sonicare and I was charging it. I usually charge it for about 24 hours when I need to charge it, but she must have unplugged it this morning when she was doing her hair. Kind of pisses me off, but at least it got a charge.

Next week will be fun. Chem test on Tuesday evening, then mythology final Wednesday, dead day on Thursday (no classes, no finals, just study day), then chem final on Friday night. I'm still trying to figure out how to get back from chem final to the dorm. It's from 8-10PM, and all the way on the other side of campus. SafeRide doesn't go that late on Friday's because it doesn't want to be some cab service to take people to parties. I could ride my bike, but I don't know if it would be wise to ride it in the dark. I could walk the long way along the main streets, but I'd be out walking until past 11 to get back to the dorm. I guess my bike is my best bet, but there's a week until then. I can't believe it, my first year of college is almost over. Pretty sweet.

EDIT: Ha, yes, she indeed did miss the meeting. Funny thing is she came back to the dorm like within a few minutes of it ending. Oh, and what fun it will be cleaning out my room.

Posted on Apr 30 2009 by Amber + 0 Comments

I get it now

I don't even know how this happened. I was just watching some YGOTAS on Youtube and being my random self I began clicking on related videos. It eventually got me to how apparently America doesn't believe in rice balls, as shown in Pokemon clips where they instead edited in, and poorly may I ask, a sandwich or cracker, or even worse called them doughnuts. Yeah, rice balls REALLY look like doughnuts. Apparently in the dub of Sailor Moon they also pass rice balls off as something else, muffins. There's so much stupid pointless censoring of so many dubs, and in all but one case (Sailor Moon, which was dubbed by DiC) the completely horrible super censored dubs come from the most evil thing to ever come into contact with anime- 4Kids. Yes, the majority of those horrible crappy dubs with tons of scenes taken out because they aren't appropriate are from that sad excuse of a dubbing company, with horrible VA's and all. There are plenty of other bad dubbing companies, but none are as bad or as censoring as 4Kids. I had to check something before I could come to yet another conclusion, and that is that Funimation is the only English dubbing company out there. Code Geass, Death Note, they both sucked. Those two anime were amazing in original Japanese. However, FMA, which is amazing in Japanese (in my opinion mostly because of Romi Paku, I think she's a great Ed) is also amazing in English. You lose very little if anything out of it, and the VA's aren't bad at all. Same with Fruits Basket. Those my two favorite dubbed anime, and coincidentally they're both dubbed by Funimation. I don't watch too many dubbed anime, so I wouldn't know much more than that. However, the ones I have seen didn't suck.

Guess there isn't much time to write anything else. The rest of this week will suck. I have chem lab final tomorrow, math and bio test and Thursday(which I must study for, both of them) and then bio lab on Friday, which wouldn't be too bad since it's the last one but I have to write the discussion section of our paper, because we can't find a time this week to meet up together to do it. My other two group members are meeting up Thursday, but they said I can just email my part because they're meeting late and I have a wing meeting so I can't. Way to make me feel like the Hispanic in a group full of Asians...oh, wait, that's exactly how it is. Yet I'm still doing better in that class than both of them. And I still need to finish my chem lab report to turn in tomorrow, and study a bit for my mythology quiz tomorrow, although I could actually not go to class and take it and be fine, because he drops the the lowest three quiz grades and as of right now I only have 2 quizzes I didn't get an A on. Done for now, since nothing exciting happened today.

Posted on Apr 28 2009 by Amber + 0 Comments

Swine flu, true or merely a craze?

I find this so odd. Apparently the swine flu has been going around for a bit now, and it's been really bad in Mexico and such, yet I'm just now hearing about it. I first heard about it yesterday and only because it was the first thing on the news, since I usually flip off that particular channel at nine. Then today on FML there was a FML about someone being pulled over and given an extra ticket because they were wearing a mask and when they replied they were worried about the swine flu apparently the cop thought it was some crack at them. And then today the university sent out an email about swine flu and what to do to try and prevent getting it. So in less than twenty-four hours I just heard about it and have heard about it repeated times. I'm not saying that there's no such thing, because obviously there is, but I find it odd that so suddenly anything about it starts popping up. I am a bit freaked out about it, but at the same time rather skeptical as well. Yeah, living in a dorm is a freaking germ fest, or at least most of the dorms. I think I'm actually a bit safer since my dorm doesn't have those little hallways but rather outside walkways to get to your room, so the germs for anything aren't isolated in such a small spot. However, my roommate has been sneezing a hell of a lot these past few days, much more than she normally does. I swear she better not be sick, with anything, or else I'll kill her. Correction: If she's sick and causes me to catch it because she can't be sanitary then I'll kill her. I have finals coming up in less than two weeks, this is the home stretch and if I'm sick I'm going to totally lose it. Instead of days studying, which I don't necessarily have all to often anyway but still, I'd be sleeping trying to work off the illness. Oh well, good thing I can be a germaphob and have already within the past few days sprayed the room with Lysol at least twice. Once she leaves to go with her boyfriend I'll spray again.

I finally signed up for classes at community college for the summer. It's a good thing I got up to the laundry room before my laundry was done, because if I hadn't I wouldn't have been going through my text messages to see which I could delete and thus would have never seen the number to call to register. It took longer than I wanted. The person wanted me to talk to an adviser, and then I was on hold for like 5 minutes and then she came back on the line and told me that I could take the two classes because I had all the prerequisites needed but that it would be a lot of work because it's like four months worth of work packed into one. So apparently the beginning of my summer is going to suck, but oh well I guess. I need to get them out of the way. And I'm paying about 600 dollars to do so, which is going to set me back quite a bit. I won't be able to pay back as much as my student loans as I wanted.

Today-wise, it hasn't been all too great. My mom woke me up at like 8:40 with a text asking me if I was up. But I guess it's alright because she needed to know my social because she was on the phone with people from FAFSA, because according to them it has been processed and everything by my studentlink financial aid area said that I haven't filed it yet. So they said that it has been filled out and processed since early February. So then she called the financial aid office here and I'm now relieved, somewhat. I guess they've been having trouble with getting some people's FAFSA, but I should check the financial aid and it should be up within the next couple weeks. So that's kind of taken care of.

But because I got up then I've been tired the entire day. Usually that little time doesn't mean I'm like this, but I'm just exhausted. I kept yawning through class, which I seldom do strangely enough. I'm yawning as I type this very moment. Yeah, then something really weird happened that freaked me out a bit. When I got out of class and walk walking over to my bike it felt like I totally lost my vision. Even when I got on my bike and was riding it back I felt so freaked out, because everything was completely blurry. I was riding my bike a bit slower because I was afraid I was going to run into someone because people are always crossing the street without looking to see if any bikes or coming so you have to swerve and dodge them, although seeing who can hit the most pedestrians would be fun...I guess I should get back to my point. I thought maybe I was just dehydrated or something and my body just needed some fluids, so when I got back to the dorm I drank about a quarter of a liter of water, which isn't really much but I couldn't force myself to drink more at the time. I then proceeded to throw my laundry in because I hadn't felt like doing it this morning, and when I was walking up the stairs to the laundry room and back down I was completely dizzy, maybe a bit lightheaded although I don't remember. After I was on the computer for about 20 minutes I thought maybe laying down would help a bit, so I got my iPod and just laid in bed until I had to go get my laundry. I guess I'm alright now, a bit out of it but overall fine. And now as I type this I'm wondering if it was the pizza. The person who I hung out with yesterday and I had a couple conversations that make me think it was the pizza. First, we were talking about this pizza place, it was called Pistol Pete's and it was from way back when, and apparently Pete was part of the mafia, because we had been talking about the mafia which got us into the conversation in the first place. I then commenced saying maybe it had been the Sweeney Todd of pizza places, and that the pepperoni wasn't really pepperoni. Then we later had a conversation about some restaurants in Phoenix called Hippie Burger and Hippie Taco, and I said I wondered what was in the hippie burger and taco. So there's plenty of room for food paranoia involving the pizza I ate yesterday. And I'm having it for dinner today too so we'll see.

I can already see this week is going to suck though. First, I have my chem lab final on Wednesday, not necessarily bad because it's the last one but not really good either. Then I have a math and bio test on Thursday morning, and then I believe Friday is the last bio lab, but I'm not certain. Even if it is we have out semester project due, which apparently my group is going to BS because they didn't feel like doing another write up for the flower thing we were going to do because you need lots of time to view cactus growth. But we're doing the cactus growth thing and thus we shall have to BS it. I wanted to meet tomorrow, but one of the group members can't meet until 5:30 which is way later, and I haven't heard back from the other one yet. I really don't want to meet on Wednesday. I just want to finish up chem lab, go get some Pei Wei because it's always good after a harsh day, and just stay in my room. Of course I'm going to have to study for my tests the next day. Then I think Thursday would be way too late to start it, because it's due the next day and I want to actually get a decent grade on it. And of course we can't meet until late on Thursdays anyway because the same group member who can't meet until 5:30 tomorrow can't meet until 5:30 on Thursdays because she has chem lab until 5. However, I doubt that the lab actually lasts the full four hours, because she's in 152 and I'm in 151 but they're never more than three hours. I don't know. I'm just happy to be done with...well, I'm happy to be done with regular biology after this semester is over. Still have microbiology to look forward to next semester. Yay.

Posted on Apr 27 2009 by Amber + 1 Comments

It's been nearly a year and I had no clue half this stuff was here

Today was actually a fairly good day. I was kind of determined to go to the mineral museum today to do that extra credit stuff for chemistry, but I didn't. I did go to Cold Stone though, and got ice cream. Totally worth the walk. Then someone I went to high school with was down here visiting some friends so we hung out for a bit, and just randomly traveled around campus. Found a few dead ends near the medical center while walking, and a lot of stuff I didn't know was there. Then we went to other parts of campus, including the turtle pond, which was pretty cool. Although almost all the turtles scattered from the rocks when we got nearby, rather quickly too. One of them didn't though, he (or she?) looked as if it wanted to like kill us or something. Then we walked around a bit more and came back to my dorm, talked a bit, he called his friend he was supposed to have dinner with but they couldn't, so then he left to go back to Phoenix. And apparently the whole ASU-UA thing is so true, because we were standing on campus talking and a bunch of bugs were around. I told him that it was because he went to ASU, and apparently whoever he had met up with before had said the same thing. But now I'm waiting for my pizza to get here. I've been craving pizza and I finally decided to get some. However, I'm only going to have 4 dollars in cash left after I pay for it. I guess I'll have to try to get to the museum next weekend, because I really could use the extra credit.

Well, now I must start studying...soon. I've done like none this weekend. And I have a test, no, two tests, this Thursday, both of which I need to do well on. One more than the other, but yeah. And then chem test next Tuesday. And then I think my mythology final the day after that? Yeah. And then two days later chem final. Then five days later math and bio final. Then I'm done down here for the year. Woo hoo. I think. Yeah, I guess.

Wow, this post if fairly short. Cool. Oh yeah, episode 4 of FMA: B. It was awesome, like always. Took me forever to find a place to watch it online, but I eventually did.

Posted on Apr 26 2009 by Amber + 0 Comments

Well my mood isn't the exact same

Oh what fun next Thursday will be. I have a math test and bio test. If I get at least a 60 even on my next test and the final for math then I can pass with a D, and if I get at least a 65 on them I can get a C. So it technically is possible, although there aren't high hopes for me. Whatever, I'm going to have to do my best.

It's amazing how many people come to class when they think you're taking attendance. On Tuesday in chem the professor was passing around an attendance sheet because he wanted to see who was actually there. It somehow stopped in the back so 2/3 of the people sitting in the front, me included, never got it. So he said he was going to pass it around today, and class was significantly more crowed, but he didn't pass it around. I say ha to them. They should come to class anyway, I never miss chemistry, or bio, or math. I don't really see the point of going to bio though, because I never pick up on anything. I have to study this weekend. Guess I just can't listen to some French guy talk about biology, I think I caught a few sentences today, none of them applied to each other so it was pretty pointless. There was someone who was watching a movie or show on their laptop a few rows below me during the lecture.

Last night I guess the internet at my roommate's boyfriend's frat house wasn't working so they came here. Certainly were loud. Even when I went to bed they were still being loud, he was doing spanish or something. I have no clue when he left, but she never did. And I'd guess she stayed up all night to do something because I kept hearing her printer go off or her doing something. Somebody called her at like 6 this morning and it woke me up, took me awhile to get back to sleep. I don't think she even went to her first class, because when I left for class she was still in bed. Then when I got back I thought she was gone but she had just gotten under the covers. And when I left at noon to go to chemistry she was still sleeping, so I assume she didn't go to her first class. But she was gone when I got back for the day and still isn't here so I'd assume she's at class. Hopefully there won't be anyone here tonight, the noise gets annoying.

No biology lab tomorrow, yay!! I don't have to get up at 7, I can sleep in pretty much as late as I want, or at least until 11. Although I have to meet up with my lab group to try and rewrite that stupid report for a better grade. But after that I'm done for the week, and I'm going to spend the weekend studying. I've decided I'm going to try my best not to start anymore new anime series until finals are done with. I've watched the first episode of Air so I think I'll watch that next. I finished Vampire Knight Guilty yesterday, and I'd like to finish watching Darker than Black but it's pretty much impossible to find it anywhere. Then I have a bunch more episodes of Chi's Sweet Home, and of course the new episode of FMA: B that comes out Sunday. Actually, Funimation should have this week's episode up now. I think I'll watch it if it streams well since I had to watch it on Youtube.

I got my webcam. It actually came the day I left to come back, and I told my family not to bother sending it because I have less than a month left, but they did. So now I have it. The sun it still up. If I wasn't so lazy I'd go get some ice cream from Cold Stone. Maybe I will tomorrow, if I'm not lazy again. I shouldn't be lazy for such delicious yummy cold ice cream, especially in this heat.

Oh yeah, I have no clue what happened with the weather. Last week it was rather chilly out, almost cold enough for a sweatshirt. But this week, even in the mornings, it's pretty warm out. And by the afternoon it's starting to feel like summer.

Posted on Apr 23 2009 by Amber + 0 Comments

I wish it would end already. Then again, it won't ever end.

I don't have much time, need to get going to class in a half hour and I have to eat lunch in that half hour as well.

I'm scared. Not like scared scared, but scared. Don't know if that makes sense. Math. I go to every class, I pay complete attention, I even study which I never did in high school, yet I still don't get it. Even when I do get it I fail the tests. I'm not going to pass. I know I'm not going to pass. I think there's still a possibility I could pass, if I get a great grade on the final, like an A, maybe I B, I haven't actually calculated it. But that won't happen. And before that I have one more test, next Thursday. It sucks. At first I get what he's going, but then he gets into more complex things that involve the simpler things and I just lose it all. I'm never going to understand integration of any sort. I'm never going to understand much more than the very basic principles of derivatives. And what I'm scared of is not being able to come back next year. The failing in math won't bring my GPA down to have me kicked out, but it will bring me down enough to lose my scholarship. 3k, gone. I took 10k out in loans for this past year, and I even with the scholarship I just barely made it. This next year they're raising the tuition, they're proposing 10% plus 1k I think. Without that 3k scholarship, I think I'm screwed. I wish I could have dropped math at the beginning of the semester, but I was stupid. I didn't know when my priority registration was for this current semester, so I had to try and get into classes when almost everyone else already had. I only did 14 units this semester. If I would have dropped it I would have gone down to 11, losing my scholarship and housing because I wouldn't be full time.

This is hard. I'm almost done with my first year of college, it would be pointless to give up now. I only have about three more weeks to go. I can easily pass mythology with an A, even though he told us at the beginning of the semester it's hard to get an A in there. I have an A as of right now, and I doubt the final will be too challenging since I got a 101 on the midterm. Biology I have a B right now, if I get a B on the next test, or even better an A I should be alright. Since my bio final is on a Thursday I'm going to have 5 days to prepare for it between that and my final before it. Yes, I'm going to have to not say I'm bored and do nothing but study. My math final is that same day, but in the morning. Chemistry. I'm not sure. I'm going to study my ass off for this next test, which will be the hardest yet, and I'm going to try my hardest to get an A. I was so close to a B last test, I think I technically got one but didn't fill something in which lost me some points. And combined with my lab grade, which is 30% of the grade in chemistry overall, I should be able to pull of a B in there, because I have to have a B in lab. I'm not sure about bio lab. My grades aren't that bad, I haven't missed a single assignment. All of that has to at least assure me a B, although maybe if I'm lucky I'll get an A.

Yes, I'm so close to finishing. I'm so close to doing something so many people can't do, finish my first year of college, not dropping out. That's always the statistic people throw at you, how many students don't even make it through their first year of college. The problem is can I do it for six more years minimum after this?

I need to find drive. If I don't have the drive I'm mentally screwed. I'm taking 6 credit hours over the summer, english and math. I'm going to just do math in community college if I can from now on, I think I can fit it all in if I do a math course each summer semester. And I need to get even more in, I can't take a break. I can't let myself be burnt out so easily, or at all. If things go as I currently plan, my next good break will be winter break. Then again it may not. I wanted to try to take the PCAT's for the first time next January, so I'll have to be studying over break. Which means my next good break will be winter break 2010-11. Or maybe not, because if I don't get a score on the PCAT's I deem good enough by then I'll have to take them again. So...okay, I guess if things go according to plan my next real break will be summer of 2011. With any hope that will be the summer before I start four years of pharmacy school, wherever I get in, if I get in. And if I don't get in first try then I'll have to do another year of undergrad and try for the next year. And after those four years when I start working I'll easily be making 80k+ starting out, and even more as I gain more experience. With that I could start paying off my student loans pretty easily. I don't really want to think more into the future than that, it's frightening if you really think about it. I'm going to be nearly 25 when I finally get started in life. I started pre-school when I was 4, which means that if things go according to plan I'm going to spend 21 years of my life going to school. That's a long time.

I have to get going to class now so I guess I'll have to write more later. Or maybe if I'm in a less somber mood I'll just do a completely new post.

Posted on Apr 23 2009 by Amber + 0 Comments

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