b l u e s t a r

Seriously!?

Right now my emotions are a bit mixed. This morning I went down to the bike rack. I usually spot my bike (because I tend to forget which side I parked it on) by seeing the light on it before I even get in the hate. But not today. I spotted the purple-ish bike, but there was no light. I got really confused. I was wondering how long someone had the same bike as me. But I looked around, didn't see another one like it, then looked at the lock. It was my bike. Except there was no light on it. Over the weekend some cheap bastard decided to be an asshole and steal my bike light, both front and back. It pissed me off. I'm still pissed off. I need it for when I'm out at night, especially this semester, since I have a later class one day. They sell the damn lights in the bookstore, but someone just wanted to be an asshole. I'm pretty sure they tried to steal my front reflector too, because it was bent funny, but that thing is screwed on their super tight. The light my dad just put on for me and he kept it somewhat loose so I could adjust it as needed. Now there are two options for how it was stolen. No, three. One, for some reason someone was in the parking lot, they saw the light on my bike, and decided to jump the fence and steal it. I always keep my bike in the gated bike racks, because I feel it's safer than the ones that aren't gated. Option two is that someone who lives in the dorm and has access to get in was in there, and decided they'd like a light for their bike. Option three, someone who was with someone who lives in the dorm was in the racks with them, and stole the light. I'm guessing it was option two, because I don't really see someone jumping the gate just for a light. If I could, I'd go to every damn door in this place and ask if they jacked my light. I'd beat it out of them, because it's not like the bastard who actually did it would confess. And once I'd get them to confess, I'd take the light back and beat the shit out of them, just to teach them a lesson. Unfortunately, I can't do that. I wish I could thought, because it just pisses me off. I've have that stupid light on there for months. I would have expected it to be stolen when I was on the main part of campus, or when I was taking a chem test last semester and my bike was one of the few around there since it was so late, or in front of the library at night, where nobody would probably notice it being taken. Not in the gated bike rack that it's been kept in for ages. I'm just really pissed about it, and I want to punch something.

This mood would have stuck for the rest of the day, possibly part of the week except I got online and found that the K-ON! OVA is out. I totally forgot that it was coming out this month. So that put me in a better mood. It had absolutely nothing to do with the manga, but I don't care because it was still good. I don't see why they would, they need to keep the manga stuff for the second season of the anime.

And yeah. I need to study now, because I have a hiragana quiz in like an hour over ka-so. I'm still having a bit of difficulty remembering some of them, mostly sa-so.

Posted on Jan 19 2010 by Amber + 0 Comments

Should I could today as productive?

I don't really know if I should today is productive or not. I did about a hour and a half of Wii Fit, bringing me to thirteen hours total. Apparently, as I found out yesterday, when you reach ten hours the piggy bank that keeps your time turns bronze. I'm guessing it takes ten hours to change it again, but I won't know until I actually reach that point. I probably did like eight hours over the three day weekend, which wasn't too bad. I'm not sure if it's helping me lose too much weight, a bit maybe, but with the yoga helping with my flexibility and balance and I'm definitely gaining more muscle. So if I don't end up losing that much weigh in the end, my guess would be it's because of muscle I've gained.

And then I actually studied for Japanese today. That's all I did school work wise. I need to study more, because I have a-o in hiragana down, but ka-so I only have like one actually memorized, and I have a hiragana quiz tomorrow again. I have them every day. Boo. But on the plus side I only have two classes tomorrow, o-chem discussion and then Japanese. I need to remember to start bringing my recorder with me to lecture because he doesn't do notes, just writes everything up on the board as he goes, so it'll be good to have everything recorded.

I've decided I hate Friday Japanese. I wondered why we had it in a different classroom Fridays. It's because the one professor teaches two sections at a time, instead of just one like every other day. So I got there and I had to just sit in a chair in the back because all the actual tables were taken up. I can't help it I couldn't get there earlier, I have class right before and he runs us up all the way to fifty, maybe even a bit later, I'm not sure. And I really feel weird in class because there are so many Asian people taking it. And most of them are Chinese, I can tell because they speak it before class starts. And if you're wondering how I know what Chinese sounds like, my roommate is Chinese and when she talks to her parents she speaks it. And that reminds me, I wanted to ask her about the 'a' sound in Chinese. Because in Japanese it's pronounced like ah, but a lot of them, when we have to say things out loud, pronounce more like the a in apple. I'm wondering if that's the sound it makes in Chinese.

On Friday night I decided I was going to start reading Kimi Ni Todoke. Well I got caught up, at least what's one OM. I'm assuming they are caught up, because it was last updated the end of December. When I got to where the anime is right now (because I started watching the anime the last weekend of break) I was considering whether I should stop or not, but I decided to go ahead. Now I know what is going to happen in the anime. But it'll still be good, especially with Mamiko Noto speaking Sawako's lines instead of me just reading them.

I wanted to work on o-chem this weekend, even though there's only been one lecture so far. But the quizzes opened up yesterday and I wanted to at least try the first one, so I could go for some help if I needed it (which I probably will). But it's too late for that right now. House comes on in less than an hour and then I need to study more for Japanese. I guess I can try tomorrow morning, since my first class of the day isn't until ten.

On another note, I've grown fond of hot green tea. I'm drinking some as we speak. I've had cold before and didn't like it too much. But then my mom bought some because I found a coupon for it and wanted to try it, and I actually liked it. I took the rest of the box to school with me.

Posted on Jan 18 2010 by Amber + 1 Comments

Um...so

Japanese is possibly the most challenging thing I've ever tried to learn. Even harder than chemistry. Although I know once I understand the writing system I'll have overcome a huge challenge of learning it, because once you know what each hiragana, katakana and kanji are you can speak Japanese, and all that's left is knowing what the words actually mean.

I also discovered something interesting, which obviously I should figure, because subbers don't literally translate what's being said. I've been slowly going through my book for the past half hour or so, going over the words in hiragana that are on the page I'm working on, and mountain was one of the words. And when I figured out what it was I figured out that kanden yamakeno is actually mountain cat, not puma or bobcat as I always see it as.

I seem to be having a bit of trouble with writing あ properly, whenever it looks neat I feel like the beginning of the third stroke is too small. And then the way that the professor wrote い and the way it is in the book are slightly different, but I'm pretty sure all I have to do is make sure the second stroke is shorter and you can tell what it is. う, えand お are all pretty easy, although for the longest time this afternoon I kept blanking on う.

Posted on Jan 14 2010 by Amber + 0 Comments

Up before the sun?

Perhaps I should have done this right when I finished my morning classes. Perhaps I should have waited until all my classes were over. Either way, I'm writing about my first day back now. I forgot what it's like getting up before the sun is even around. It sucks, if you're wondering. But I had the bathroom all to myself, since my roommate didn't have class until ten today. She was still sleeping when I left, lucky her.

So first class...physiology, hard? They play it to be hard, the way it was described. The one person I know who took it made it seem pretty easy, but I don't know. I've never been good with the human body and remembering stuff about it. Of course, this is just remembering parts of it, not functions and such, which might be a bit easier? Or more difficult, since there's so much of the human body, despite the fact we're covering a small percentage of it.

And my Japanese Pop Culture class is alright? The professor, who I'm not too fond of, makes it seem like it's going to be really difficult. Well, it is a 200 level course. I guess there's a lot of analyzing and such. All I know is that this is a class that pertains to my interests, so hopefully I can do pretty well in it. I can't afford to let my gen ed class grades go down as well.

And this afternoon, which I have to leave for soon, I have my o-chem lecture and then Japanese 101, which I'm excited for. Normally I'd have lab, but they don't start until next week, which means I'm done way early today, and I only have one class tomorrow and it's at 1 in the afternoon. Yay.

And now writing after I have finished all my classes for the day. I'm scared as hell for O-chem, but I'm calming down a bit. The professor I got seems really nice, he's made it so that it's nearly impossible to not get at least a C in the class. And to get a B all you have to do is get all the online quiz questions right(which is completely possible because you can go to him or any of the preceptors and they'll work through it with you to get the right answer) and score at or above the class average(which is normally a low C) on all the tests, and automatic B. Doesn't mean the class isn't going to be crazy hard though.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to like Japanese, but it seems so different from Italian, probably because it is. The professor is a lot more formal, because that's how Japanese is, and we have to be a lot more formal, even with classmates. There's a great deal of variation between the more laid back Italian professor I had, with an equally fairly laid back language of Italian. This entire month we're going to be learning hiragana, and then next month, which is chapter two, will be katakana, and then kanji at some point as well.

Posted on Jan 13 2010 by Amber + 0 Comments

*growl*

The soft food thing is starting to get to me. I had a smoothie for breakfast, but I'm hungry again already. It is around lunchtime, but yesterday I wasn't hungry but ate anyway, so I could get the nasty taste of penicillin out of my mouth.

The surgery wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The only pain I actually felt at the office was when they put the IV needle into my arm, and I have no clue what happened after that. I didn't hear or feel anything when they were working in my mouth. Just a swollen and extremely numb mouth when they woke me up. That was some good anesthesia, whatever they gave me. And although the Novocain was annoying to try to eat with when it was actually working, it hurt like hell when it decided to wear off. I had taken half a Vicodin right when I got home, but I had to take the other half when I started to feel the pain. Strangely enough the right side of my mouth is the one that's had most of the pain and swelling, the left has had very little, despite that being the side that was initially giving me problems. After it I went over to the house, and had a nice nap with three cats. Izzy was on my pillow next to me, Frankie decided he wanted to sleep on my stomach since my lap wasn't really available, and then Scottie was under my legs. Eventually Izzy decided to be a pillow hog and was slowly pushing me off the pillow, and starting to get her paws all over my face when she moved.

I need to figure out something to have for lunch. I wonder if I can eat macaroni without having to chew it. The pamphlet the doctor have me says that I should chew on the side that didn't have work done, except the fact that I had both sides done.

Probably the worst is having to take the penicillin. I didn't even know penicillin was used anymore, since so many bacteria have become immune to it. But apparently it's effective in fighting off Staph aureus. I Just wish it didn't taste and smell so nasty, and that I didn't have to make sure I get in all four doses each day, within about a six hour span of each other. I've actually been doing more around five hours apart, because my sleep pattern doesn't really work for six hours apart. I just do one at breakfast, around 8:30-9, then lunch, 12-1, then dinner, 5-6, and then at bed, around 11.

I'm finally getting my hair cut tomorrow, the first time since August. I really need to think about how short I want it. It's ridiculously long right now, for me anyway. I have enough that I can donate to Locks of Love, but it would be pretty short then, around my chin. I wouldn't mind doing it that short, although I feel I might look stupid with my hair that short. Stupid shape of my face prevents me from doing a lot of stuff, such as having certain hair cuts and wearing hats.

I think I'm going to try to find something to eat for lunch now, and then afterward try to read some more. A few weeks ago I went to the library and checked out Lolita, but I've only gotten like eleven chapters into it. It's due tomorrow, but I'm going to just renew it and then try to read a lot over the weekend before I go back on Tuesday. And then Wednesday I get my first day back at school, an 8AM physiology lecture, followed immediately by Popular Culture in Japan, then a two hour break, then my o-chem lecture, followed immediately by Japanese 101. I'm guessing they aren't starting labs this week, since Monday and Tuesday labs would have to be made up, so I don't think I have to deal with my psio lab. Wow, I just noticed Tuesdays and Thursdays I only have two classes, so Thursday next week I might just have to go to Japanese if there are no labs until the following week. Sweet.

Posted on Jan 07 2010 by Amber + 1 Comments

Here's to...hell with it

I haven't updated in quite some time. At least not with real news. Well, it's a new year, and a new decade. Although I'm only twenty, I'm almost completely certain I can say that 2009 was and forever will be the worst year ever for me. Specifically December 2009. There was just too much loss, too much bad news. The only thing that came with December 2009 was the end up general chemistry classes (hopefully, unless I am forced to GRO them because I need to raise my GPA to get into pharmacy school) and my GPA raised up a bit.

As for all the animal deaths, I don't know what I can say really looking back on it all. There's still so many cats there it's hard to tell that three are missing, but there's no more fat cat I can go pick up and hug, or lay with, and physically it's clear there's no more bright orange cat running around, playing with the others, since all the other cats in the house are pretty dark.

I don't even know about my brother. Pablo died only a few weeks ago and today he bought a collar for Scottie, who is one of Sakura's last litter of kittens, the one my mom said he could have. It's like he's completely forgotten about Pablo, even though he wanted him so badly back when he was a kitten. Yet I refuse to even think about getting another cat anywhere in the near future. The orange cat we feed outside, I refuse to have anything to do with it. For the time being I've gained a hate for orange cats. I don't know if I'd ever be able to get another one. I've been wearing her collar as a bracelet everday for the past two and a half weeks. And tomorrow it'll me a month since she died.

As much as I shouldn't let it get to me still, it will, but I'll try to move on as well. I have hopes for this decade. I'm out of that decade of hell, also known as high school. Yet I'm also gone from the decade where I had friends I actually talked to. I've left the decade when both my grandfather and sensei died of heart attacks. The decade that I suffered from depression and completely hated myself most of the time, when I struggled to find my place, when I finally decided enough was enough, when I discovered what real friends really are, when I was able to have the experience of a lifetime and travel through Europe, when I was able to leave my childhood and teen years behind. Only my second decade, but obviously my rockiest one yet. Hopefully it will be my rockiest one of my life, but we all know how life loves to screw people over.

It's a bit past midnight now. I should probably go to bed. Tomorrow morning at 10:45 I'm having my wisdom teeth taken out. It was supposed to be for a bit past nine, but they changed the time for some reason. Either way I'm scared as hell. I don't like going to the dentist either, but here they're going to be cutting into my mouth and extracting the tops of my teeth. Before that they have to insert an IV into my arm for the anesthesia, which I'm scared of. Hopefully that puts me to sleep. And after I'm hopefully asleep my mouth has to be shot up with Novocain and the work has to be performed, hopefully with no pain. Then afterward I get a Frosty so I can have something in my stomach so I can take the pain meds, ibuprofen and Vicodin. Of course it's not like that's going to take all the pain away, just make it so that I won't have to feel too much. And then the antibiotics I'll have to take to make sure that the bottom part of the tooth doesn't get infected, to which if it does they'll have to go back in an extract them. And that leads to a possible chance of permanent numbness of my bottom mouth, because the nerves are touching the bottom of the wisdom teeth, thus the point of not taking them out in the first place.

I just need to get through this, then I won't have to worry about them possibly starting to come in when I'm at school, where the pain would be practically unbearable to deal with. I'd know, I experienced it a few weeks ago when I was getting like two hours of sleep because I could hardly get the pain to cease.

I really should be getting to bed now, because I need to get up early and take a shower/wash my hair, because it really needs to be washed and I couldn't do it tonight. I was going to, I was at the door of my room with my stuff in my hands and was just taking my bracelet off when my cousin comes out of her room, turns the shower on, and then goes back in her room, when she could clearly see I was going to go take one. Then of course she lets the water run for like five minutes because she loves to waste water, and actually spends twenty minutes in the shower. And then since I didn't get to do it tonight I have to use the blow dryer, which I hate, tomorrow morning to dry my hair, since it's at a length that takes a few hours to dry. I can't wait for Friday to get my hair cut, I'm pretty sure I'm going to go short, shorter than normal.

Just another quick thing. I actually made dinner tonight. My mom got this recipe book of recipes from restaurants, so we tried to make the Cap'n Crunch Chicken. I hate the sight of raw chicken, but my brother got me to move it from one bowl to the next with a poky prong thing. And our first ones came out burnt, although turns out it was like that because my mother set the temp for the oil too high. It was actually pretty good. I didn't know how cereal would taste on chicken, but it gave it a bit of a sweet flavor.

Posted on Jan 04 2010 by Amber + 2 Comments

Untitled

I don't even know what to say. My brother found Pablo today in the couch. I had to go over to the house and help him get him out of the couch. Pretty obvious he was dead. That's three cats now. My grandma was could only say to my brother that he knew that Pablo was going to die, blah blah blah, but I don't believe that. I mean, I know he was going to die eventually, although maybe had a month or two more. I'm pretty sure he had gotten into the couch and couldn't get out of there. That's probably what killed him, he couldn't get to any food or water, or to the bathroom.

Meanwhile I still feel like shit. My grandma looked in my mouth today, said she could see that it's red back there and there's a bit of tooth coming out. It hurts like crazy. I put some gel stuff in there earlier as opposed to taking any pills, but it didn't help much. I took pills this morning, and I was planning to right before bed, but I think I might have to take them now instead, because it's bugging me way too much. I have a dentist appointment on Wednesday, although I don't know what good that's going to do for me. It's not like they can stop the pain.

Posted on Dec 21 2009 by Amber + 0 Comments

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