b l u e s t a r

I'm kind of huh, yeah... right now

Well first thing on my mind, I'm amazed at myself. Mostly of how well I can BS a lab report even though I didn't do the experiment correctly. I was hoping for at least a C on my chem lab midterm, ended up getting an 86%. Seriously, I was amazed. I had no damn clue what I was doing, yet I still managed a B? I'm pretty sure I'll end up getting a B in there, since I've gotten B's on all my lab reports. I guess it isn't too bad, I don't like it that much, although today we finally started actually working with chemicals, 9 weeks into the semester. I freaked out slightly the the hydrogen started to react with the powder that was put in it, which I don't actually know the identity of but would assume was some type of chlorine mixture. Obviously not chlorine itself because that would kind of kill you.

I REALLY want to watch Sailor Moon right now. I found elsewhere to watch it, it looks as if all 200 episodes are there, and I think the movies might be as well. Right now I'm getting to the good part of SuperS, which is really kind of sad since it's the end. Sad that the good part is the end. Seriously, the animation in this season gets SO much better, but the entire SuperS arc is just...I don't know how to explain it. Odd, if you want to put it kindly and plainly. I'm hoping Stars will be good, since it would have been impossible to see any episodes as a kid since it was never dubbed. And thank goodness for that, at least one of the seasons was saved from the dub.

But I can't watch it right now, was the point I was getting to. I have a calculus test tomorrow, which I'm starting to feel slightly confident I'll be able to pass, if I study tonight. I need to memorize the derivative rules, but I know how to do first derivatives and I'm pretty sure I know how to do the second derivative as well. Let's hope. Then tonight I have to meet with my bio lab group to do some stuff, write up a proposal for our semester project. And then I also have to get with my partner to work on our sex paper presentation. Lucky us, we're the first ones to go on Friday. Lady luck is never on my side it seems. Then next Thursday I have a biology test, which I'm worried about and know will have to study quite a bit for. It's pretty much all plants. There's some fungi in there, but other than that it's pretty much all plants. I'm horrible at plant biology. Pretty sure that's the test I did the worst on in AP Bio last year. No, plants are not my friends. Biology in general really isn't my friend. I guess the closest thing I have to a friend in science in chemistry, it's really more of a mutual relationship though.

Oh, and I'm wondering what gave my roommate the idea to dye her hair in the room. Now it smells horrible and right now she's in the bathroom cleaning it out. She better not leave any stupid dye in there because the bathroom was just cleaned yesterday and if she makes a mess I'm going to have to live with it for a week. She can shower over at her boyfriend's frat house, which I'm assuming she does since she hasn't been around too much the last few days, but I have to use the shower here. Although looking on the bright side, I guess some dye would be better than vomit or some waste that some idiot decided would be funnier to do in the shower than the toilet that would probably come about if I had to use a community bathroom. I seriously don't get how people can do community bathrooms, and I really don't get why people say this drom sucks so much. They're generalizing everything about it into the location, which is crappy. But seriously, your door opens to the outside, not into a cramped and stuffy little hallway, you get your own bathroom that's only used by your room and is cleaned each week, and that of course comes with a sink and mirror and medicine cabinet which for some reason none of the other dorms have, and a huge walk in closet, which maybe one or two of the other dorms have. Plus the pool, which none of the other dorms have. And there's a McDonald's right next to it, which I never go to but others obviously do, so food is always close. Wow, random rant. I'm going to finish my banana now.

Posted on Mar 25 2009 by Amber + 1 Comments

I might have screwed myself over

Break is pretty much over. I've been back at the dorm for a few hours now. The day sucked, kind of. And yesterday evening kind of sucked. It wasn't too bad at first, because I went to the Science Center with my family. It was pretty fun, it's always pretty fun, although they took away the big room with all the really cool stuff on the third floor and replaced it with the digital room, which was alright. But the best thing was the show we went to. Last time I went they were redoing the planetarium, and it was open and was AMAZING. Saw Wonders of the Universe, it was so awesome. I love astronomy, if it didn't take so much physics I'd double major in it or something. I guess I could still take some courses about it. I wanted to join the Astronomy Club this year at school, but the stupid site with the list of clubs didn't have any information on it. I learned some things I didn't know, like how the Phoenix Mars lander, that was of course launched by UA with NASA, froze a few months ago. And although they said it, I refuse to say there are 8 planets. There are 9 planets, Pluto was unfairly demoted I say!

I must say this. There is no way in hell that ANY pizza is worth waiting in line for three hours, even if Oprah says it's the best in the country. Since we were right next to it yesterday because we were at the Science Center, and because my dad got a gift certificate for there over a year ago, we decided to try to get into Pizzeria Bianco. We got there an hour and a half early, and there were already people there, not even 20, probably around 15 or so including us. There are 33 seats in the entire place, it's really small, so we should have gotten in right away. Not the case. Another reason I hate damn people. The people who were in the very front of the line were apparently holding spots for about 30 damn people. The most damn annoying thing about it is that most of them came within the last 10 minutes before it opened. You'd think the staff would say something about it? No, they allow all those assholes who were too lazy to wait the entire time to go in, and that made us the third group on the waiting list. There was an hour and a half wait, and once you got a few groups behind there was a two to three hour wait. I was so pissed that we had waited and just left. Ended up going to NYPD Pizza instead, and I'm sure it was better than the pizza we would have had at the stupid other place.

And today I had to run around to get last minute food and such for school, enough for three weeks worth at least because that's when I go home again, for Easter. But on a good note U of A won basketball today, and ASU lost. Those idiots are out, we're still in. Don't know much about sports, but yeah.

Quick thought, another one that pisses me off. After the three or so week break of no Bones Fox says that they will be coming back with 13 straight new episodes of Bones. Bastards are such liars. There have been two weeks of new Bones, and after this week's episode it says that in two weeks there will be a new Bones again. What the hell happened to next week? I swear if it had something to do with American Idol I'm going to inflict major pain on someone.

Since I haven't been checking the FMA livejournal over break I came upon some very interesting things. I guess there will be an English version, it will be called Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Below is a video someone posted, I guess someone recorded it at the Tokyo Anime Fair. Much better than the short commercials for it. Definitely looks like it's following the manga, which is awesome. I caught a glimpse of Father, but unfortunately none of my beloved Olivier, my favorite charrie of the entire series, or of any of the Xing characters. An animated Olivier, Ling and Lan Fan is a must!!

Posted on Mar 22 2009 by Amber + 0 Comments

You have got to be fucking kidding me!

EVIL!!! My theory was that the portal to Hell was to be opened at the release day of High School Musical 3, but how wrong I was. Apparently it was only the beginning to what would come. Watching TV today, home alone with my dog in the room with me, it came on. I was so surprised, although mostly pissed off I literally yelled 'What the hell? Are you SERIOUS?!" Yes. I am sorry sane people of the world, but it has sadly, unfortunately happened. Yes, Hanna Montana: The Movie. Typing, even just the thought of it, makes me shudder in fear and disgust. Seriously, why the hell would this occur? HSM trilogy was bad enough, Hannah Montana in 3-D, Jonas Brothers in 3-D, all of it was just too much. But this...this is pushing it to a whole new level of torture. Hannah Montana is the epitome of mediocrity when it comes to music, or acting for that matter. Miley Cyrus pisses me off, and Disney pisses me off in the process. I'm sorry but what happened to quality Disney? When Disney Channel wasn't all these damn teen or "tween" sitcoms, when it was filled with good quality awesome cartoons, what happened to that? When they weren't shooting out tons of mediocre "stars" who are only making a mockery out of what is supposed to be talent. It just pisses me off. If you haven't seen the trailer for it yet please watch in disgust below. Be warned, it's all I can say.

Posted on Mar 17 2009 by Amber + 2 Comments

YAY!!!

I AM OFFICIALLY ON SPRING BREAK!!! After a VERY tiring lab I am back at the dorm and waiting for my mom to come and get me to go back home for the week. I never thought this week was going to end, it's been going SO slow. But finally it has come to an end, and it wasn't too bad an ending. I must say Tucson, no probably Arizona in general has some really crappy parks, they're all desert. But that's what we did, we went to a huge park, which really seemed like it was more for hikers, and did the counting cacti thing. For some reason, probably because it was fairly cheap, they rented a school bus to take us there. I kind of felt bad for the people taller than me, because I could barely fit in the seat without slanting my legs some. Then we got to the park, and we had to hike some. The TA said we had to get to the top of this rather large hill, and although some thought he was joking he wasn't. Funny thing is it was harder going down than it was going up, probably all the loose rocks. We then commenced looking for little cacti, which may I say isn't easy. You know why everyone always noticed the big saguaro? Because the little ones are EXTREMELY difficult to find, especially if you're looking for some under 28 inches. Even though my group lied about the height on a few of them we found 15 of the saguaro and barrel cacti. Luckily we didn't spot any rattle snakes, although one of my group members said he saw something like looked like a snake that was moving away from us. I was freaking out some, especially when there were a bunch of holes in the ground that a snake could pop out of any moment. This is perhaps one reason I didn't mind having an early morning lab, it was probably still too cool outside for the rattlesnakes to come out and sun. However, when we were walking back to the main path we did see a little rabbit running away, it was so cute! The entire hiking thing was tiring, but then when I got back to campus (after the bus having some issues getting started), I had to climb four flights of stairs to get back to the classroom. And then when that was over, because I didn't want to wait for the elevator to come back up, I took the stair down. At that point my legs felt like jelly. Then I had to ride my bike about a mile back to my dorm, and when I got back I kicked the stupid tennis shoes off (I hate wearing tennis shoes, my toes are too cramped up in them and there's no ventilation like flip flops), splashed some cold water on my face, drank about half a pint of water, then collapsed on the bed for a few minutes. I actually think I'm going to lay down a bit more before my mom gets here, although I have to have enough time to finish packing and change out my sheets so I can wash them at home. And I need to pack my backpack with everything I need to study over break, which includes math, chemistry and biology. Won't that be fun? I probably won't get around (much at least) to any of my sciences, but I have a math test on the Thursday I get back so I REALLY need to study. It's strange, yesterday, when only like 10 people showed up to class, and he went over what would be on the test, and gave examples of the different rules for derivatives and everything I suddenly got it. I still don't completely understand any of it, except the really basic first couple rules for derivatives, but somehow I managed to get a clearer picture. With a bit, or a lot, of studying I should be able to pull a passing grade on the next test, which I really need. And then because I made a bunch of stupid mistakes on my chem test, like really stupid mistakes, I'm going to try and learn some of the material we're doing now, which is really just Lewis Structures. Biology I'm not as worried about, since I got a high C on the last test, although this plant stuff is harder. I'm not good with plant biology, never have been.

Oh, and guess what? I must bring it up yet again. Tomorrow, Saturday, March 14 of the year 2009, if the wedding. Yes, the wedding which I will NOT be playing at because everyone else decided to drop out! The wedding I thought would be great for me because it was going to give me a reason to not just put my violin into storage or something, but that's no longer the case. No, no, there is no playing at the wedding for me. Or anyone, because after they begged her to give us a chance to play they all decided to back out. Yes, that's right, back out because they supposedly couldn't handle learning a bit of music and school. I mean, it's not like we had to learn music and go to class in high school or anything. Hell, I somehow managed to learn well enough 24 songs for Annie in 3 weeks and that was when AP classes were going work overload on us because it was getting towards time for the AP exams. I'm not even that good of a violinist, nor am I any good at time management, yet I still somehow managed to practice the music when I initially got it. An hour on a Saturday, it's not that hard people. I actually did an hour and Saturday and Sunday, usually, but I had all the first violin pieces so I needed more practice. I should have actually practiced more, but didn't have the patience to deal with it more over the weekend. Wow, I really can rant on about it, can't I? This will probably be my last rant. Probably, not for certain. I'm sure one day if I'm pissed about something and just writing what comes to find it will come up again as a thought of a disappointment of my former fellow orch dorks. I'll lay off it for now, today. Although if I post anything tomorrow I'll no doubt talk about it some more.

Darn, roommate came in, and I don't think she has class for awhile. She's leaving tomorrow I think for somewhere in Mexico, which I really don't get. The whole spring break Mexico thing. Although since I'm speaking of spring break destinations I find it sad that this time last year I was...I think I was sitting in AP government, my last class I was going to for the day, waiting anxiously for my mom to get me out of school early so we could get all the last minute things and do last minute packing for Europe. It's sad that already a year has passed since then, and that I won't be having a wonderful adventure traveling around Europe. Oh well, I guess you can't top something like that the next year. Awhile ago though I was looking into things I could maybe do over the summer. My family said we might go to England, although I doubt that'll happen, to expensive. However, I would like to go to Prince Edward Island. I should tell them about that. Ever since I read the Anne of Green Gables series I thought it would be amazing to go to PEI, it sounds amazing even if it's up in Canada. I don't actually know if it's part of Canada, I'd guess it is, it's really close to it. That would be much cheaper than England, although I would love to go there. That's where Silvernail is taking a group this year for spring break, to the UK. At some point, when I save up enough money, I'm going to study abroad and that's one of the placed I'm considering. Of course it depends on when I'm considering doing it, it would probably be over summer because I think a year or even a semester would be a bit much for me, although it would be wonderful. To go to school in England for a year.

Jeez I always write more than I plan to. That me for you, I ramble and ramble, when things pop into my mind randomly they are placed down in words. The same with emails, mostly to Maggie because she's the only one I ever email, and it's usually a few paragraphs long because I ramble on, like I did just now.

Posted on Mar 13 2009 by Amber + 0 Comments

I want to be done already

I haven't felt this crappy in ages. I haven't had a day I could straight out call completely miserable in ages, probably over a year, but today seemed just like one of those hellish days I experienced so much in high school. It was all because of chemistry. I had my midterm in chem lab today, I'm going to be lucky if I get a C. The written portion was so pointless, most of it was just safety stuff that I had to do at the beginning of the course online. Still, the way the questions counted point wise I was lucky if I got a C on that. Then there was the practical, where we had to do an actual experiment. I have no damn clue if I did it right, I know I didn't get the correct absorbency data from the spectrometer, and thus I had pretty much nothing in my results section of the write up and I had to BS most of the rest of it. Hopefully my intro and experiment section will be enough to get me a C, although I doubt it. I've been getting pretty low grades of my normal reports and those I actually understood some. But yeah, I left that classroom feeling like complete crap. I decided to get Pei Wei because I kind of felt like it and thought it would help me feel better. It maybe helped a bit, but I was so pissed off at myself that I was still pretty down. I watched a couple episodes of SMA to get some laughs in, although I didn't laugh too much. And my night got a bit better because I somehow managed to get right in to the place I watch anime and finished off Sailor Moon S. I'm finally on to SuperS, I watched one episode before Mythbusters came on. But naturally it isn't a new one, again. I wish they'd have new episodes already. FINALLY Bones is new again tomorrow, and they're going to have 11 weeks straight or something like that of new episodes straight.

Oh, but it turns out that the band/orchestra concert at my old is tomorrow, which sucks. My brother told me it was Friday, but he was wrong. I wanted to go and watch and tell the orchestra how much they sucked this year, but now I can't do that. If I didn't have my stupid bio lab on Friday I would just leave tomorrow, since I don't have mythology on Friday. That midterm was so easy, it only took me around 15 minutes. I almost missed one on the naming the character, because I could remember that Orpheus' lover started with an E but I couldn't remember her name. Luckily it was in the matching section a bit later, had to match different people to their lovers. I say lovers because that's what the majority of them are, I think Zeus and Hera are the only ones who are in a relationship that are married. And when I was thinking about it the other day Aphrodite is the only god I could think of that incest wasn't the case, at least not like the others. Because her main god/goddess relationship was with Ares, all her other lovers were mortals, although I guess she did have a son with Hermes but that's not as well known as her and Ares. But yeah, she was born from the foam of Uranus' genitals, so to Ares she would be like his great aunt or something like that I think, the daughter of his father's father's father. And just writing that I thought of something I did wrong, I think. I could not remember who Uranus was, I was trying to think whose roman name that was. But it wasn't a roman name, it was Uranus, whose lover was Gaia and I know I didn't put that. Damn. Oh well, I still got an A on it.

I got way off course now, I don't even know if I made my original point. Whatever. I have to get through math, chemistry and bio lectures tomorrow, then the little field trip to count cacti and such. Then I have to pack really quickly and my mom will be here around noon so I can go back home for spring break. I can't wait to see my kitty, and possibly friends? Probably not friends. I mean, I haven't talked to any of my 'friends' from high school since the last day of school, not even at graduation.

Posted on Mar 11 2009 by Amber + 1 Comments

WHOOUHWHA!!

I'm a bit out of it today. It rained last night, started around 11:30. I love the rain, I could smell it from inside my dorm room. That's what I love about my dorm compared to every other dorm, the fact that when you open the door you're outside, don't have to deal with those stupid little cramped and stuffy hallways. I wanted to go and just sit outside my door and watch the rain fall, but it was a bit past midnight and I really needed to get to bed. Either way I didn't bother with my iPod last night, I just listened to the rain as I drifted off to sleep. Then this morning I work up on a rain high, I was like super happy and stuff that isn't normally me. But eventually that feeling went away, probably about the time I finished my laundry, and I went kind of dull. Then I started to listen to Rain by Priscilla Ahn and I went really mellow, because her music always mellows me out. Seriously, if you're ever stressed or in a fit of rage or something like that listen to some of her music, it'll calm you down. I went to my one class of the day, and we didn't do anything but just go over the various powerpoints since midterm is Wednesday, and then came back. Since then and still up to right now I'm feeling kind of blah. The kind of hyper happy crazy feeling is there, but it's not actually showing itself. Actually for some reason the past couple days I've been rocking back and forth in my chair, or on my bed, wherever I'm sitting. I'm doing it right now. So I'm pretty sure that hyper is trying to get out but it just can't. Maybe it'll save itself for Saturday, March the 14. The day that I was supposed to be doing something, but I'm not anymore. Something that I was really looking forward to but then everyone else totally bailed on in December, even though I'm sure their reasons weren't valid. I don't really remember what it...oh wait, I do remember what it was. Just something that I had my hopes up for since last May, something along the lines of Ms. Aikman's WEDDING. The one I originally probably wouldn't have been in if I hadn't been sitting across from Abbie when she proposed the idea to Ms. Aikman because the other orchestra seniors had been friends since middle school if not earlier and I had just barely befriended most of them junior year. The wedding that I got the music late for but still practiced my ass off, even when finals started to get close. Yes, the wedding that the quartet broke apart within five hours that Tuesday morning in December. I indeed do remember the day that it happened, because I had to get up very early because I had stupid English at 8, and I was stupid and got online and bam, right there on Facebook was a message from Janelle, saying she couldn't do it. And then Rebecca replied saying there was no point in just a trio, and it was off. Then everyone else was apparently too busy to email Aikman so I had to do it, which was probably a bad idea because I took some of my anger out in the email. It's amazing how the quartet was canceled so long ago yet I still continue to go on about it and how pissed I am, although in reality am in no way surprised because I was half expecting them to not pull through, because none of them were actually serious when it came to orchestra. They didn't care that she had been kind enough to let us play at the wedding, yet a mere three months before they all decide to bail and she has to go with a DJ, even though she had said before she was thinking of live music. NO, NO, I'M NOT STILL CAUGHT UP ON IT AT ALL!!! I'm sure after it passes I should be fine, for the most part, maybe. I don't actually know.

Well, since I unexpectedly brought that up again my Saturday, instead of the wedding, will consist of getting my hair done and then the ostrich festival. I haven't actually been paying attention to my hair, so I don't know if my roots are very bad (I have highlights), but I don't know what to do about the hair cut. Last time I got it cut it was like 5 months since the last time and I had Erin (my hair person) take like 5 inches off. I kind of like it at the length it's at right now, and I like how my bangs are right now as well. If my face wasn't so damn round I'd do it short short, like just above or at my chin (that would be short for me, because the shortest I've ever done it was maybe an inch above the shoulder), but it is and I don't want to look like a complete idiot. We'll see.

Spring break in four days and counting. I should consider it less than that, maybe three and a half? Wednesday is all midterms, mythology and chem lab (why the hell chem lab has midterms is beyond me, you don't have them or a final in bio lab and it's a separate course from the bio lecture) and Friday is field trip day, yay for going out and trying to find baby cacti that are being sheltered by nursing plants! I guess this is really more what you would expect out of an ECOL class (the lab/lecture is cross listed ECOL/MCB 182) and as long as there's no slicing open dead animals I'm fine. Although on Thursday I don't know about biology. Right now the second professor is doing lectures, although on Thursday the first one is going to be doing the one for the day, and it will be boring, no doubt about it. Really all I have to get through is two chem classes, two bio classes, two math classes, two midterms, a chem test and a field trip and I'm done for this half of the semester. I'll have to see if Janelle actually follows through with hanging out, she said agreed with me that we totally need to. Well, I have nothing else to say that I can really think of at the moment that would relevant to anything whatsoever. No, I lied. IF the quartet for the wedding were still going on I'd be a bit worried, because for the past couple days my left pinkie finger has been really bugging me. It feels kind of stiff and there's a dull pain when I bend it. Since I was playing all first violin parts there was probably a chance I'd have to use my fourth finger, so it might have been a problem. NOT NOW. But that makes me think of a random funny quite from Sailor Moon Abridged, where (and I will just refer to them as their sailor soldier name because it's annoying putting both the Japanese and American name because not everyone knows the Japanese names and that's what I've become more familiar with) Venus tells Moon "what's all this mess? Seriously, there's a broom in the closet, clean your shit up". Yes, it is awesome. I think I'm done now, I'll force myself to be done writing random things, and I shall now commence decided what I want for dinner. Either Boston Market and get a pot pie for five dollars, or if I feel like walking a bit farther to Wendy's and get a chicken sandwich meal with fries and a frosty so I can dip the fries in the Frosty. I'll probably do that, because I've really been craving fries in a Frosty.

Posted on Mar 09 2009 by Amber + 1 Comments

Some females just disgrace the entire gender.

This entire topic is based solely off of my roommate little ordeal this entire day. Since she's moved in I'm sure she and her boyfriend have broken up at least three or four times, although they always seem to get back together. A couple weeks ago, on Valentine's day actually, she came back to the dorm and he called her and naturally she had to start crying. Now, if someone, your boyfriend, I guess girlfriend also, would say something so cruel that it would make you cry, would you bother with them anymore? I certainly wouldn't. If someone would want to pull that crap with me then they can just get the hell out of my life. But I guess last night they had another huge fight, she was on the phone for an hour or so with him, crying yet again. I'm not even sure if she went to any classes today, because when I came back from lab she had magically appeared and was sleeping, then when I left and came back about an hour later after my next class she wasn't here, but she came in a couple minutes after me and didn't have any of her stuff with her. Then the whole phone call thing went on and I wanted to get up and tell her to shut the damn phone and just end it already. He apparently was a real ass to her, saying a lot of shit that was hurtful. I learn this all from just listening. But she eventually agreed to talk with him, although from the phone call it seemed it would be to see if they could still at least be friends. Well, she was gone for about six hours, then when she got back she got ready to apparently go out somewhere with him. She just left and when she was on the phone with him telling him she was coming they seemed perfectly fine.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?

You don't do that. If some guy is going to be a complete ass to you then end it. You don't take that kind of shit, you don't let them bad mouth you. You just end it right there, they keep calling or texting you then you just ignore it. If absolutely necessary then you yell at them like crazy to tell them how much of an ass they are. I'm sorry, but to be so forgiving after your boyfriend has made you cry so many bloody times because they hurt you if complete bull. If someone is going to make you miserable then why bother having them in your life? It's just demeaning to the female gender. I don't think I've ever seen a guy do that, they're always the ones being assholes. Plus, this is college. The entire idea of coming to college, at least anywhere but ASU, is to better yourself and receive a higher education so you can succeed in life. I for one would never and will never let any guy screw with me like that. I'm determined to get through undergrad, determined to get into pharmacy school and complete it, then determined to live an awesome life in a great house with lots of pets. I'll be making around 80k when I first get out of school, and even more than that as the years go on, I certainly don't need some idiot guy ruining the life I'm going to carve out for myself, and there's certainly no point in having one mess with self esteem right now. I just barely started to regain my self esteem, which was of course lost from those hellish years known as high school.

XX FTW!!

So I'm done with the rant, quick overview of the day. Lab was okay, going to go on a field trip next week to examine desert life and test a hypothesis and such. It should be better than just sitting there listening to him lecture, or dissecting. And mythology was easy, he lectured about Orpheus and then we watched a bit of the beginning of Black Orpheus. Now I must get back to watching Sailor Moon, I'm pretty sure I'm almost done with S, I'm on episode 110 right now.

Posted on Mar 06 2009 by Amber + 0 Comments

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